Introduction
At the age of fifty-seven, I used to be a divorced man not significantly eager on spending the remainder of my life alone. I made a decision to attempt on-line relationship. I had all the time been a world traveler and my two youngsters had been grown, so I may go wherever the wind took me.
After some false begins, I discovered a beautiful girl in Thailand. She was a Public Relations Manager and Psychologist working at a authorities hospital. We exchanged emails and talked on Skype for six months. I made two journeys to Thailand, and a yr later, we married in a conventional Thai ceremony. I had to return to the United States, however my spouse couldn’t journey till she obtained her visa. So I flew again to Arkansas, the place I labored as a database administrator, and patiently waited for ten months.
Finally, her paperwork was permitted, she handed the medical examination and interview, and he or she joined me in America. Although she had traveled to different components of the world, she had by no means been to the United States. She skilled fairly a little bit of tradition shock, however I helped her by the troublesome instances, comparable to when she failed her driver license examination twice.
Time Zone Shock
The first shock my spouse skilled was the change in local weather and jet lag. After a protracted flight throughout the Pacific Ocean, delayed baggage, hours spent ready in line at immigration, then one other connecting flight to Arkansas, she was drained, and the chilly November air in Los Angeles made her shiver. The time zone distinction between Thailand and the U.S. is twelve hours, so she spent the nights conscious and felt sleepy in the afternoon.
Language Shock
In her forty years, she had spoken solely the Thai language. Her alphabet has 44 letters, with 21 vowels and 5 tones. Every Thai baby begins studying the Thai language in elementary faculty. In highschool, 4 years of English is required. But her English research had been restricted to one hour every week, so she spoke just a few phrases and didn’t know appropriate pronunciation. Also, in her group she spoke Isarn, the dialect of northeastern Thailand. She had little likelihood to converse or observe English in adolescence. She was lucky to be employed at a global resort for just a few years, so she managed to observe some English together with her supervisor, who was from France. She additionally listened to English pop music, and repeated the lyrics.
When she arrived in the U.S., all the natives spoke too rapidly, and so they used slang phrases she had by no means heard earlier than. Any time she spoke with an American at the grocery retailer, restaurant, or a social setting with my household, she felt shy and embarrassed. In Thailand she was a pacesetter, a well-known public speaker. Here, she was a child. Her senses had to soak up all these new sounds. For a very long time, she skilled a lack of self esteem, and felt homesick.
Imagine her delicate ears on listening to one thing like this the first time:
“Are you cozy over there? You need to exit and get just a few issues at the retailer? We gotta do that an’ that. Hey, how yawl doin’? You guys discover everythin’ all proper? Okey-doky?“
Comfy? What is he speaking about? You guys? I’m a girl, not a man. I’m okay, I’m not a donkey.
Every day she encountered extra slang phrases and had to be taught vocabulary phrases. What ought to she say when she was launched to another person? She didn’t know American tradition. In America, folks preferred eye contact. In Thailand, folks do not keep eye contact for lengthy. Americans like to contact. In her tradition, she didn’t like anybody to contact her physique. Every day she had to focus to try to stick with it a dialog. Simple issues that folks take with no consideration, she discovered new. Thailand makes use of the metric system. In the U.S., folks use the British system of measurement.
She regularly had to repeat what she stated, as a result of folks didn’t perceive her.
Automobile Shock
That was an enormous shock for her. In Thailand folks drive a automobile on the left hand aspect. She arrived in the U.S. and all people was driving on the unsuitable aspect. Imagine her confusion. I purchased her a automobile in the future after her arrival and instructed her to drive the automobile house. She didn’t perceive the guidelines about cease indicators and what the center lane was for. There aren’t any pace restrict indicators in Thailand. So she had to be taught many sorts of indicators. She felt nervous and confused each time she drove. Some instances she made a unsuitable flip. She needed to make a proper flip, however turned left as soon as. Everyone wanted a automobile in America. She puzzled how she would survive.
She failed the state driver’s license examination two instances. The first time she skipped too many questions and the laptop didn’t let her return. She studied for a complete month. The second time she did higher, however the questions had been totally different. The third time she lastly handed. She was nervous sitting with the officer in the street take a look at.
He stated, “Not unhealthy. Be cautious about blind spots.”
One week after she obtained her license she was fortunately driving house, when she was stopped by police for dashing. Luckily the officer gave her solely a warning.
She felt so relieved! She gave thanks to Buddha. After that she adopted the indicators. American regulation appeared very strict. In Thailand, folks negotiate a settlement with the officer.
Some examples of complicated avenue indicators:
PEDXING – what’s that? Is that some Indian title?
YIELD – what does that imply? Does it imply go? If you cease any individual’s going to yell at you.
STOP – In Thailand it’s for pedestrians. Cars do not cease.
SCHOOL ZONE – We have to be quiet?
HANDICAPPED PARKING – We haven’t got that in Thailand. VIP or visitor speaker?
MERGE – A gathering level? A relaxation space?
4-WAY STOP – Main avenue will get first precedence!
Food Shock
My spouse had issues when she ordered meals at most eating places. Ordering meals was an actual problem.
1. Ordering at the counter of a quick meals restaurant. She thought she had to tip the server. Also, she didn’t know one has to pay earlier than the meal is served.
At Kentucky Fried Chicken, she needed to order fried hen. So the trick is if you need legs and thighs you order “Dark Meat” and if you need breasts and wings you order “White Meat”. She needed legs however ordered thighs. She thought the leg was the thigh. To her, the leg is hen toes.
The server requested, “What aspect would you like?”
“What measurement? Small measurement, as a result of I do not eat an excessive amount of.”
“What?”
“I order Four items. Small measurement.”
“No, I imply aspect. What aspect you need?”
“What measurement you’ve gotten?”
“Beans, corn, coleslaw, mashed potatoes.”
“Yes, corn.”
“Corn on the cob or common?”
What was she speaking about now? Corn on the cup?
“Yes, I need corn on the cup. A small cup.” Oh, man. This is getting complicated.
The meals got here and it included biscuits. My spouse stated, “I did not order that. I did not like that.”
“That comes with the meal.”
“OK.” She ate the thigh and corn on the cob.
At a quick meals retailer, she needed to order French Fries. The server stated they do not have that. French Fries had been on the menu photograph.
They stated “we’ve Potato Fries”.
Is that the similar factor? She had to be taught one other time period. She was studying one thing day-after-day.
2. Ordering “Drive Thru”, She had hassle with the drive by. One time the retailer worker did not perceive her English pronunciation very properly, so her daughter went hungry. She repeated herself 5 instances with no luck.
3. Ordering “at the Restaurant”. The server would supply some drink first after which supply the difficult menu. She didn’t perceive all the menu objects, however fortunately she preferred to attempt new meals. One time she ordered salmon with white wine. She anticipated a glass of white wine, however the wine was utilized in cooking the salmon. One time she couldn’t order alcohol as a result of the server didn’t imagine she was forty years outdated. All prospects who like to order alcohol have to present ID. In Thailand they by no means ask for an ID.
The U.S. customized is to embody 10% ideas in the invoice. In Thailand, if you’re not glad with the meals you do not tip. In America, folks normally discuss who can pay the invoice. In Thailand, the wealthy member is predicted to pay. If a bunch desires to negotiate who can pay, this has to be finished earlier than consuming.
Weather and Snow Shock
My spouse got here from a land with a tropical local weather. She had by no means skilled snow. What a shock to transfer to Arkansas and get up one morning and see a white blanket of snow protecting every thing. At least Arkansas had delicate winters, in contrast to the frigid North, the place snow may cowl the floor for months.
Our first winter we had enjoyable constructing a snowman and having snowball fights. But driving on icy roads was scary. Our house was located amongst steep hills, and generally I couldn’t drive to work for 2 or three days till vans got here with dust to soften the ice.
She purchased further heat garments, an area heater, thick blankets, gloves, and boots to survive the winter.
Shopping
Shopping for garments was a problem. Most Americans had been bigger than my spouse. She had to look in the teenager part to discover a comparable measurement that match. Sometimes she tried to order on-line, however the garments that arrived had been too massive. She had to sew her outfits. So she did not purchase that a lot from on-line anymore.
She noticed the signal named “Flea Market” on the town. She knew what flea meant. But she puzzled, why folks want fleas? For the backyard? In Thailand folks simply kill them. She went inside one, and noticed outdated stuff, used garments, and trinkets. I defined {that a} flea market simply offered little issues.
Debit or Credit and Checking Accounts
Most Americans spent their cash by bank card or debit card or test. In Thailand most individuals paid by money and wired cash into financial institution accounts. My spouse requested me why I didn’t give her money. I gave her a debit card, and defined that it was simpler and safer to pay every thing by a card. So all over the place she went, she paid by debit card. She felt excited to give you the chance to purchase virtually something with simply the swipe of a card. At the grocery store, the cashier requested her if she needed money again. She stated positive I need money again to my account.
No! It meant folks can get money from their account at the counter. In Thailand folks get money at the ATM solely.
One time she went to the Drive Thru at the Bank. She was amazed and confused. She anticipated to meet a financial institution teller and ask for assist. Unfortunately she drove to the exterior lane. In Thailand they do not have Drive Through providers and he or she didn’t know the way to function the machine. She noticed the spherical cylinder in a tube. How do I open this factor? She thought it might be the similar as ordering meals at a drive by. She communicated with the officer behind the window through speaker. She felt like a turtle. But the officer patiently defined how to function the machine, and he or she made her first drive-through transaction. I laughed once I heard the story.
Vending machines had been one other thriller throughout her first few months. The machine stated, insert Four quarters. What was 1 / 4? She had to be taught the worth of cash. And machines had been difficult too. She had to find out how to use a washer, dryer, range, hearth, air-con, TV distant, oven, dishwasher, and disposal.
Shop at the Grocery
Shopping was enjoyable, however it was so difficult to purchase groceries. She had to find out about many varieties of latest meals. When she lived alone in Thailand, she normally purchased meals from the avenue distributors or ate at eating places. Food was inexpensive in Thailand. Now she had to find out how to cook dinner.
She preferred to eat wholesome meals. She don’t love junk meals, sandwiches, burgers, or pizza. She collected recipes and watched some cooking exhibits. I preferred Thai meals, so something she cooked, I ate and loved.
She discovered Oriental markets and discovered how to cook dinner from her mom and sister by Skype and discovered from the web meals channel.
Food value in the U.S. was so costly. The costs shocked her. For instance, in Thailand a bunch of bananas value 1 / 4. Besides, she had a banana tree in her backyard. In the Oriental retailer it was virtually 4 {dollars}. She did not need to pay for that however needed to eat them. The Oriental retailer did not carry all the meat, sauce, and different objects she wanted. So she created her personal recipes for some sort of Thai dishes. She had to be inventive and find out how to use an oven, dishwasher, and unusual western kitchen devices. At least she may purchase a rice cooker and steamer. Rice was a necessary a part of each meal. She couldn’t discover a scorching pot in the shops, so she discovered one on-line.
Medical Shock
The healthcare and dental value in America was so costly. She needed to order contraception capsules. She could not and not using a prescription. In Thailand, folks should purchase the capsules at the pharmacy with none prescription. She went to the Hillsboro dentist for a yearly cleansing, and he charged twenty {dollars}. In Thailand, the value would have been 2 hundred Baht, or six {dollars}.
She went to the clinic for a checkup due to a foul cough. The nurse requested her the place would you like to decide up your drugs?
She stated, “Here at the hospital.”
The nurse stated they do not have drugs right here.
What? This is an enormous hospital in the U.S. Why do not you’ve gotten drugs? In Thailand folks can take the drugs in the hospital pharmacy like a one cease service.
Then the girl instructed her she had to select the pharmacy location.
“Can I select Walmart?”
The girl requested, “Which Walmart?”
She stated the one which was shut to Walmart Home Office. She went to decide up her drugs at the Walmart Superstore, the one close to Walmart Home Office.
Shocked once more! At the pharmacy, folks stood in line to meet a pharmacist at the window and there have been some ways to decide up drugs. What lane did she want to stand in? Pick up lane, Drop Off, or Over the counter? What sort of drugs would she get? She actually wanted her drugs now.
She stood in line and talked with a pharmacy worker and gave them her prescription paper. The individual behind the counter stated her drugs wasn’t right here.
How may that occur? She took a deep breath.
The clerk instructed her she had to go to Walmart Home Office Pharmacy Shop.
Oh brother! She wanted drugs proper now please. She did not know there was a pharmacy at the superstore and a pharmacy in the Walmart Home Office. So she drove the automobile and used the GPS navigator. She arrived at Walmart Home Office and at last bought the drugs! Whoopee!
How to get a Job
My spouse needed to convey some meals house and pay for the payments and make her child happy with her as properly. She had 15 years expertise in advertising and public relations, however in America she had to begin at the starting. Her English abilities weren’t good, so many employers declined her utility. What sort of job may she do in America? She took a course in Physical Therapy, however we lived in a small city and there have been few openings. She thought of getting a sophisticated diploma, however the value was too excessive. She already had a masters diploma in Psychology, however it was not acknowledged in the U.S.
She finally discovered a job supervising disabled folks. And she began a house enterprise.
Keep Calm
So to different individuals who face tradition shock, her recommendation is, maintain calm. You will prevail. She prayed to Buddha and meditated, listened to enjoyable music, went to work out at the fitness center, began to play tennis, and made new associates. She looked for Thai folks in the group, cared for her backyard, and shortly felt at house in America. She rearranged the home, and talked together with her household in Thailand each week utilizing Skype. I used to be listener and defined many issues to her. I preferred her Thai dishes.
So maintain a optimistic perspective, do not be afraid of tradition shock. You will reside by it and emerge a stronger and happier individual.
Culture Shock From Thailand to the United States
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